Day 1

Galatians 1:3-4 New International Version

³ Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ, ⁴ who gave himself for our sins to rescue us from the present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father

 

What is it that Christ rescued us from? It is our traditional enslaving ancestral worship. Galatians deal with issues of traditions encouraging us to leave old beliefs and accept what is offered freely via to the death of Jesus on the cross for us.

I would really want to encourage you to read my book on this. I have written two books on that question; one is called Christianity and Culture. It tries to answer that question. The next one I wrote not too along a go, I have called it Marriage; Is It Christian or Traditional? Both of them are dealing with that issue.

But three things are highlighted as you cannot do things the way non-Christians do them and you still claim to be Christian. First example is dowry. It is a religious activity. I hope you are aware about it. The way you know it is religious is to just try and note during the dowry negotiations what they say? They quote the beliefs of for example the Kamba people. That is telling you that dowry is not just a business transaction. It is not a commercial transaction. Among the Kikuyus if you do not pay dowry for your own wife, the ancestral spirits do not allow you to receive any dowry.

If you go ahead and get the dowry for your daughter, you get a curse. Where is the curse coming from, from the Lord? – No. Could Jehovah curse because you did not receive dowry or give dowry? No. so, you need to understand that if you are involved in paying dowry, you are involved in a religious activity. If you are involved in receiving dowry, you are involved in a religious activity which is not a biblical belief.

If you go the book of Genesis chapter twenty four, which those elders -“wazees” like quoting, it gives a clear case of Rebecca becoming the wife of Isaac- no dowry was paid. Because when Eliezer finished his story; the father of the girl said this is of the Lord. Then he asked the girl if she could you go? She said yes. Once Eliezer knew the journey was blessed, he went outside and came with gifts and gave everybody. Not just the father, he gave gifts to all. That is not dowry. What is dowry? Dowry is money demanded by the girl’s father and even the amount is determined by him. Like in the case of the crook called Laban; do you remember Laban? The seven years was dowry, but he was a crook not worth emulating.

 

Day 2

Genesis 31

⁴² If the God of my father, the God of Abraham, and the Fear of Isaac, had not been with me, you would surely have sent me away empty-handed. But God has seen my hardship and the toil of my hands, and last night he rebuked

 

That is not the only issue he was a crook about; he was a crook many times. So, you can’t emulate a crook unless you are one. Therefore, it is very important to understand when you see a man of God like Eleazar and Abraham getting a wife for the son; it shows you clearly, dowry is not a requirement. If you are going to a Christian’s place, you will not go to take any dowry there, but the Christians we are taught are people who are generous. Therefore, when you are going to your in-law’s place, you will go with something, with a gift. What is a gift? A gift is something given by the giver. If the size is determined by the giver; it becomes a gift. And do you know a gift may be bigger than dowry?

Maybe you wanted to ask or demand or one hundred thousand but I feel generous, and I am coming with three hundred thousand. If you had demanded, I would only come with one hundred thousand. The gift is dependent on my generosity and the critical thing is the recipient must not expect anything. That means if they come with nothing the girl will still be given away. So anything they give he is willing to accept.

I keep saying commercial things are very interesting. Anglicans, AICs, Pentecostals differ on many things but when it comes to money and issues of fundraising, they do it, the same way. You cannot tell a Pentecostal one or an Anglican one when it comes to money.

When a Pentecostal goes to an Anglican church and they see a new money style, you will see it in the Pentecostal church thereafter. The same things with this issue of dowry; it is the money that is the issue. So, the issues of having meetings with your in-laws are very important because marriage is very important according to the scriptures. Therefore, we should not just decide I am picking you I am marrying you. It is very important to go for permission from the parents and the two families get to approve the marriage.

 

Day 3

1 Corinthians 10:20

New International Version

²⁰ No, but the sacrifices of pagans are offered to demons, not to God, and I do not want you to be participants with demons.

 

The meetings before the wedding are not negotiations anymore. it is for the parents to know each other. all the parties to know each other and take tea together. If all the hosts can afford is tea do not even add bread but take tea together. That is very important. You have the meeting also to pray together, and to give permission for the two to get married. That way when the wedding starts, the young people are aware it is something very serious. So, the African tradition around the weeding needs to be retained but remove the negotiation part.

Therefore, you will not do “Ntheo” for Ntheo is very clearly unbiblical. Acts fifteen says; you do not have to follow Jewish customs. although you are allowed to follow your traditions; you can follow Kamba customs but not any Kamba custom that involve blood. That is Acts chapter fifteen verse twenty.So Ntheo involves blood and must be skipped.

So, you can claim to be a Christian but contradicting the Bible. You cannot claim to be a Christian and you are doing a custom contradicting the Bible. Once you do “Ntheo” you have declared your stand. The Bible does not guide you. Of course, you can still continue attending church but you know although you are with us, you are just an escort. You are escorting us to heaven. You are not going there. The scriptures are very clear on customs that involve blood.

First Corinthians chapter ten verse twenty; says any religious activity of a pagan is an activity of idol worship. Am I the one who has said it? And kikuyus are pagans? So according to this verse any religious activity by the Kikuyu’s is offered to demons.

²⁰ No, but the sacrifices of pagans are offered to demons, not to God, and I do not want you to be participants with demons

 

You know the first time I read this I wondered has this one been in the Bible all the while? This is because it is so clear, but we seem to debate traditional worship issues. Why are we refusing kikuyu religious customs? The Bible has told you. So, the only customs that you can continue are customs that have no religious connotation. Any custom with religious connotation is a worship of pagans or demons; very terrible.

Any custom that is worship like any prayer, or that has something to do with the ancestral spirits; is a no-go zone for Christians. Abstain from any religious immorality. In some of the tribes you can’t plant unless you have sex, you can’t live after death of your husband unless you have sex. The word of God is saying do not go back there; religious immorality: that is a no-go zone. It is a religious thing, for example that if after a funeral the first born must go have sex with his wife, only then can the second born have sex with the wife. Now, I was asking one of them how would you tell? Are you getting my point?

 

Day 4

Acts 15:20 New International Version

²⁰ Instead we should write to them, telling them to abstain from food polluted by idols, from sexual immorality, from the meat of strangled animals and from blood

 

So, any slaughter of an animal, not just for eating but a religious reason is worship. Some, you have to kill the animal religiously like strangle it. You can’t go that way, there is a reason why it is strangled or done in a special way. Among kikuyus in that way, there is meat for men, meat for women and something will go wrong if done differently. If you eat this, this will happen. That is not in the Bible, is it? But meat is protein, and it is not religious.

In kikuyu there is  ngurario. The kikuyu one is better because they do not hide the purpose in the name. They tell you we are going for “ngurario”. The word comes from the word; kugurara which means blood comes out. So, you can never do “ngurario” unless you kugurara-shed blood. The very title tells you what they are going to do. That is when they kill the animal in a special way and cut the shoulder and give the woman.

Before that ceremony they say, you are not properly married. Why? Your husband has not given you the shoulder meat-kiande. Fortunately, kiande is just meat to eat but now to get it you must shed blood religiously. I was asking can’t I buy the kiande from a butchery? They said no, no. It will not be kiande unless you have followed the religious process.

The Bible tells us; in the days of ignorance God overlooked. The trouble is from today still going ahead to do forbidden things after you know. So, three things follow repentance of being involved in traditional beliefs. Number one, you must accept that it is a sin, not to the clan but to God. Number two; you must share with the people you did the ceremony with to tell them By the way what I did is wrong that is part of repentance so that; next time your son is getting married, and they will say wait a minute you pretender remember you gave us ntheo why not give us for your son now? So, sort it out with them. The first, sort it with God, the second one is with the people you had ntheo with and the third one share is with your Pastor or your Spiritual Leader.

God is very clear, whatever is repented is forgiven; psalms one hundred and three say; he takes our sins as far as East is from West. So, whether you did ntheo or not, the critical thing is have you repented? Do you see it as a sin? If the answer is yes and you follow that process, it is forgiven and it is like you have never done it.

 

Day 5

Romans 10

¹⁰ For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.

 

In nineteen sixty-nine; a Mzungu was teaching us, and he knew we do not know English well and he told us the word “justified” means Just As If You Have Never Sinned. The moment you repent you are justified. What does that mean? You are now just as if you have never sinned. So, whether you gave ntheo or you did not give ntheo once you have repented it is history.

Can the ceremony be done with meat from a butchery, or we must slaughter at home? That is the way to test. You see the issue is not whether you carried the goat by shoulder or by car but are you going to shed blood? Whether it was a white one, a red one it is irrelevant; are you going to shed blood? Because the Bible here did not talk about the colours, it said not get involved in customs that involve shedding of blood; and that is all you need to check.

If you are going for a ceremony traditionally done for in-laws do not slaughter even innocently. You think it is okay but your relatives they think they are getting ntheo. You want to demonstrate to them that your marriage is blessed without ntheo. That is why if I was going for an activity in my in-law’s place, I will buy meat in the butchery with them knowing because there is nothing wrong with eating meat, but there is something wrong with the shedding the blood ceremoniously. The word of God is telling us do not eat meat offered to idols, not because of your conscious, but because of the others. So, you are okay, but they are not okay. Later they will say how can he stop ntheo and yet he gave us ntheo. It was done here. You did not use the name but surely who does not know when an in-law brings what he was doing? Do you want to be in such a corner? So, slaughtering ceremoniously is a no-go zone.

The topic is quite controversial, because even Pastors officiate the events; but do they shed blood? – Yes. Pastors presence cannot make what the Bible condemns change. Let me ask you a question, even if you did not understand me on anything else, did you understand when I said, that it is not your conscious that is the issue, but it is other people’s conscious? So why would you want to be the one causing trouble for their conscience when you slaughter? Yes, the Pastors are there; but the Pastors who dishonour God are also going to hell. Why do you want to join them? Let them go alone. Middle Ages we read of the church backsliding until the Pastors and the priests were doing the opposite of the Bible. They were selling forgiveness using indulgences have you read about it?

Nothing has changed; are you not getting Pastors who are appearing in the newspapers; admitting that they have children out of the wedlock? They  argue that the woman is asking for too much money for child help rather than repenting. Have you read that in the newspaper?

Therefore, when you see them in your ntheo does that make your ntheo holy? And yet you suspect from their actions that they are going to hell. The title Pastor is irrelevant, what is relevant is righteousness.

Just like Paul did with Galatians traditions we are shedding light on this issue of cultural influence in marriages. It has been a very serious problem and challenge in our society and unfortunately, we have made it look as if it is culturally normal and acceptable way of life.

If you have read my book, I say that we must be careful about condemning all African customs in wholesale because the Bible is not condemning all of them. Act’s fifteen is telling us to continue with our customs except the listed ones. It means all the others are okay, isn’t it? So do not read this and assume you are being told that you must stop all your customs. Stop only customs that are religious in nature. This is because you can’t worship two differently ways. Jesus has taught how to worship. You can’t worship the Jesus way and the Kamba way. But when it comes to eating Kamba muthokoi go ahead. This is because there is nothing religious about muthokoi or eating kikuyu mukimo.

So, there are customs that are okay because they are not religious in nature. Only do not go or even have a way to those religious one because when you do, you will end up where you are not sure whether you are suffering from this ancestral curse or not a curse. So, why don’t you just keep off. Do not operate at the fence. You know the fishermen were told launch into the deep and they caught fish, isn’t it? Do not sing in the boundary; it is not Christian.

 

Day 6

Hebrews 2:18

Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.

 

You know when you speak to high schools, one of the questions they never miss; is it okay to have a girlfriend? What are they telling you is that; I know it is wrong, but can you allow me? Because you see, the question itself, the way it is phrased; they are asking themselves, how non-Christian can I be and still go to heaven? Why be on the boundary?

First of all I told you that you do not give dowry because in our culture it is religious. It is not just an exchange of gifts; it is connected with the ancestral spirit. So  when you do not give it, there are spiritual consequences. That is the first reason why your gift is not called dowry as the spirits wanted. If you are giving gifts, why do you want to baptize it by calling it a dowry? Dowry is going to connect you to the traditional beliefs.

Number two; yes, the Old Testament has certain places where there was bride price, but you also know the same Old Testament has places where there is no bride price. Why are you copying the one with the bride price, and you are ignoring the one without bride price?

Number three; you go to the New Testament: from the gospel talk about marriage, the letters of Paul talk about marriage, the letters of Peter talk about marriage, the book of Revelations talks about marriage; but never about dowry. What does that tell you? That whereas in the Old Testament there maybe confusion about it; in the New Testament they were clear; dowry had no place in the Christian marriage. You need to tell me; is your marriage Judaist or Christian because if you are a Judaist; that is where the trouble comes. We must understand that the Old Testament is part of the Bible but we only follow the Old Testament as interpreted by the New Testament.

Otherwise, many of the things commanded in the Old Testament, we do not do them. But if you are Jew, you must do them. If you are a Christian, you only take the Old Testament as interpreted by the New Testament. So, when you see the book Exodus talking about bride price; you come to the New Testament and discover it was not part of it.

 

Day 7

1 Corinthians 7:39

³⁹ A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.

 

Finally let us go to first Corinthians chapter seven verse thirty-nine. It says that when your husband dies, the woman is free to marry anyone as long as they belong to the Lord. What does that mean; could there have been dowry paid by the dead husband’s clan? If there was dowry it means that the widowed woman belongs to this husband clan and even if the husband dies, she is inherited by boys in that clan because  she is already bought.

If you have bought with dowry, you now belong to them, you can’t move out unless your father agrees to return the dowry. But the above verse is saying for Christians she does not belong to the husband’s clan but to the Lord?

When you as a father agree to receive dowry from his son in-law, can you see what trouble you are getting into? Would she follow the Bible that says, if your husband dies you are free to marry anyone? what about the dowry? And dowry is a debt. How would you deal with it if you follow the Bible? The best thing is giving a gift and then the C hristian lady is able to follow; first Corinthians seven verse thirty-nine after your death.

 

 

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