J. N. N. Ng’ang’a – Meditations for Nov 14-20th , 2011 …….to be professional who influences other for the gospel needs you need to Choose who influences you
Day 1
Psalms 51
3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.
4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
and justified when you judge
Learn to be transparent even when you fail
I used to work away from Nairobi but still in Kenya , and in the church I was attending then, we had a pastor who discovered that lack of transparency can cost your influence as a leader .
One of our youths just about to get wedded, was seen one evening entering his house with the girlfriend ,and people doubted if the girlfriend ever left his house that night. The pastor called the boy and told him :’ if you don’t walk right, note that this church stands for holiness, and there is no way we are going to back you in your wedding plans . This was actually a threat.
The youth decided to to respond by doing a research on the pastor. .The boy considered his findings long and hard and decided to confront the pastor. The pastor used to talk lovingly about his wife, how they grew up, how they became friends and courted in holiness, and how they married. It seems the boy had gone to the pastor’s home village to find out how true this was. He told the pastor, ‘I now know how you got mama. Do you want to throw me out of the church or do you want to go on with my wedding? The choice is yours. Stop my wedding and I will tell the whole congregation how you, yourself got married.’ The wedding went on normally. The boy had blackmailed the poor pastor
What the pastor needed to have done is to actually stand before people and confess that ,’the reason I tell young people to walk in holiness before and after marriage is because I know the suffering I went through by not being holy in my youth. I did not walk holy, but thank God, he is a God of mercy, he has forgiven me.’ You know that would have helped him. That’s the scriptural way. Admit your sin and that sin will never hold you at ransom again. There is none of us who doesn’t fail. But you are not a good example if you do not walk transparently. In other words if you fail, admit you failed. You will show them the suffering sin put you through and plead with them to avoid the path you took. And you will still be a positive influence on people.
This will be true of any other leader in any profession. Being transparent will give you greater influence than trying to cover up .if you cover up when colleagues and subordinates finally discover the truth, you will lose influence permanently for they will no longer trust you.
Thus to influence others, you not only need to let God and not others define you , be sure of who you are, do not seek sympathy from people you are leading, but finally also seek your help from God whom you should have as your security.
Day 2
James 4: 4 You adulterous people,[a] don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God
Choose who influences you
To be a man of influence therefore you need to choose who influences you. Although God influences you, I have also said that you have to do ‘pilot study’ on your vision and talk to people. You only counter check your opinion of the future with people you trust. You need to choose carefully who you trust like this.Do you know, your friends, the company you keep, tells us who you really are. Why? You cannot choose your mother, so if your mother is a “chang’aa” (illegal brew)maker, I should never blame you for it, it’s her choice to make “chang’aa.”She cannot stop being your mother because she has chosen to brew the changaa. But if your friend is a “chang’aa” maker, her friendship is a choice you made, isn’t it?
The bible tells us that, bad company spoils good morals. If you want to be a man of influence with positive impact, know the company you keep will determine this . Its true God is supposed to define you, but none of us is strong enough for bad company in the longer term.
And that does not mean that you don’t talk to non-Christians, because you must find a way of integrating with non-Christians to evangelize them. Those non-Christians are the ones we are trying to change, isn’t it? So we must go to them. But you go to them clear what you are doing. Strategize your relationship for with non-Christians you evangelize, with Christians you socialize. You must still relate with non-Christians but in your mind, you are looking for ways of influencing them for Christ .You never ‘let your hair down’ with a non-Christian, aware that his values are not your values.
Yes , friendship with the world, is enmity with God, James 4: 4
You need to ask yourself, do you love God enough to want to lose even the whole earth to keep your relationship with Him? The bible chorus says , ‘take the whole world and give me Jesus’. Is that where you are? Because he is saying, if you have friendship with the world, if you want the world so seriously, you will have enmity with God.
Loving the world might mean not loving the Father. We get this same message in in John 2:1517-
15 Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father[d] is not in them. 16 For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. 17 The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever
If you love the world, the love of the Father is not in you.
Also If you sit and walk with the wicked, you are likely to be unfruitful. You will not be a man of influence. That’s Psalms 1:1-4.
1 Blessed is the one
who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
or sit in the company of mockers,
2 but whose delight is in the law of the LORD,
and who meditates on his law day and night.
3 That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
whatever they do prospers. 4 Not so the wicked!
They are like chaff
that the wind blows away
So if you are to have influence in the market place the company you keep matters .Who influences you will determine who influence in turn. We are told that for William Wilberforce to influence parliament and his society in as great away as he did on slave trade he keep a small prayer group throughout his struggles.
Day 3
1 Corinthians 6:12-13 says:
12 “I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything. 13 You say, “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both.” The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.
Refuse any addiction
For you to be a man with influence in the market place ,you must also refuse any addiction. An addiction is that which you start doing because you enjoy doing it but you end up doing it because you must. The thing may be good and even desirable but if it controls you it is no longer good for you. You will no longer be in control on the type of influence you have on others. The thing then will no longer be beneficial.
The bible says that some things are permissible but not beneficial to do-1 Corinthians 6:12.
Thus, some things I’m free to do , I will not do them because they are not beneficial. A leader does not do anything he feels like doing, he only does things that will be beneficial. My book: Leaders Source Of Influence discusses how one can discover his life’s mission. Once you know your mission, you should only do those things that help you to fulfill your mission. Anything else is not beneficial since it will not help you achieve what you feel you were created to do. You tend to do well when you do what you feel you were created to do .This way you easily become a man others use as an example and hence of influence.
Let me say one more thing about addiction.
Addiction is not just addiction of drugs; addiction can refer to a way of life. Do you know you can be addicted to a T.V. program? Let us say there is a prayer meeting during the time your program is aired, you tell God, ‘please understand, I cannot attend a prayer meeting and miss my program’. This shows you are addicted.
Addiction is when you lose control and you do something you know you are not doing because you want; but you are doing it because you must. You begin smoking because you want. In fact when you smoke the first time, you cough then after some time you smoke because you enjoy. Then finally, you smoke because you must. At that point we say you are addicted. The solution to such as not to start at all.
I am saying you will never be a leader with influence if there is even one addiction, because you cannot do what needs to be done. Addiction includes how you relate with your girlfriend. If you are addicted to your girlfriend, you cannot say no to her. So if she back slides form her faith in Jesus , you also back slide. That’s called addiction. There is nobody and nothing that you feel you cannot say no to if what they want you to do does not please God and it does not help you to fulfill your God given mission.
I know with Rebecca, my wife there are certain areas, I have no influence, yet am her husband, if there is something God has called her to do , I know I have little influence. We agreed before I married her, that she will never give in to me against God. We want our marriage to be a marriage that honors God. That means that honoring God is more important than honoring me as her husband.
If your husband is not allowed to force you into the wrong way, who else on earth should you not tell no. That’s why there should be nothing you are addicted to.
So what is it that you are addicted to? You feel you cannot say no to it. You know some people are even addicted to the way they worship, so you go to Germany and you find there is no church that worships like yours, and you don’t go to church any more. Soon enough you start feeling that going to a bar is better than the church. So you go to a bar to find company and you refuse go to a church because they don’t worship like your home church. That’s called addiction. Addiction makes you stop thinking and decide on what to do on feelings.
I don’t know what you are addicted to. Is it a T.V. program? How do you solve the problem?
Fasting is a solution to addiction. People think we only fast about food. You know fasting is when you stop eating food for may be a whole day. The Turkana’s eat once a day and they survive. You may be addicted to eat three times a day so for you fasting is missing food for a whole day. Fasting is giving notice to your stomach that it will not control you. Food for the stomach and stomach for food, and both of them, God will destroy. It’s important to understand that in fasting you remind your stomach that it cannot control you. In the same way there may be a T.V. program which is controlling you seriously. Please fast for it and decide that ,’ the next three weeks I will not see the program and let’s see whether I will die’. That’s called fasting for a T.V. program. That’s the way you will stop the addiction.
Whatever you are addicted to, something you feel you do because you must, fasting is the solution for it. When you actually overcome it, you are able to show that you can still survive without it. Then you become a leader because nothing will influence you. As we saw earlier, instead of you following the mob, the mob will follow you.
Remember you are unique even as you relate with others. Do not be a copy when God created you an original….Don’t copy anybody else.
Day 4
Romans 12: 16 says ,
16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.[c] Do not be conceited.
17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone
Be a people person
We influence others as we relate with them.To relate well you need to be a people person.
This includes ensuring you obey the instruction that , we are not to repay anyone evil for evil. Love others enough to want to share yourself with them. You don’t want to repay evil for evil. In other words although others may hurt you, but you don’t seek to hurt them. This will help you even influence people who are former enemies.
Be accommodative
Yes a people person tend to have a lot of influence but to do so you must be accommodative. And how do you do that? Romans 12:13,
13 Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
If you Practice hospitality, it means you are accommodative. You cannot be a person of influence, when you don’t want to relate with others. Some people have a ‘ bed sitter’ mentality. When we left campus, one would want to go to stay in Buruburu but the rent was too high and so we would share the house between several of us so that we share the rent.. If you did not want to share a house ,Umoja estate had something called a bed sitter.With the small salary we were earning after campus it was possible to rent the bed sitter alone.
Do you know what a bed sitter is? A bed sitter is a house that is complete, it has a toilet, it has a kitchen, it has a bedroom, it has a sitting room but all of them are like in one room. Now the trouble is,if your mother says, son am coming to visit you in Nairobi, and you live in a bed sitter,you have to think fast how to handle her since thre is only one room that is both a sitting room and bed room. You start scratching your head, because you see, your house cannot accommodate your mother and yourself, culturally. So you start wondering, who can accommodate my mother? Or else who can accommodate me? A bed sitter can only accommodate one person.
Some people reading this have bed sitter mentality. They simply cannot accommodate others . They do not accept diversity. Until you become hospitable and a man who can bless others, you have no room for anyone else. Are you Accommodative?. You need to be able to say, although this is what I like, because I want to influence so and so, am willing to give in on what I like, so that I can win others to Christ. Paul said : I will be all things to all men so that I can win some.
Day 5
1 Corinthians 9:22
To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some
If accommodative you are ‘others’ centered.
If you want to be a man of influence it will be critical that you are not self centered, but rather that you are God centered. If you become God centered, the people of God both saved and unsaved, will be your concern. That’s what we mean by being accommodative. This includes even those who do not like us. The bible tells you to … bless those who persecute you bless and do not curse.
This means you should be Empathetic. Romans 12:15 says,
15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.
You know some people mourn with people who are rejoicing and rejoice with people who are mourning. This is a put off in any relationship. It’s a command in addition to the other ten, that you empathize with others. Find out where they are and deal with them from their point of view. You are being told; when you come to my house, don’t determine in advance whether to rejoice or to mourn. Watch the way I am. If I am laughing, laugh with me, if am crying, cry with me. If you don’t do that, you are disobeying the bible’s advice in dealing with others.
This way you become ‘others’ centered in order to influence them. Sympathetic is not the same as being empathic. When one is saying “ohh! Pole sana,am sorry for you”. That’s being sympathetic. Empathetic means, I wear your shoes and feel where it pinches. You will become a person of influence once people know how you care about them. People trust someone they know cares for them. Do you know they can follow you easily , once they trust you. The reason they do that is because they know you cannot harm them…because you think about them.
If they doubt this, you may be a leader but people know when you come to them nicely, it’s only because there is something you want to get out of them. I have friends like that. The other day I got a long distance call from one of my friends who lives in another country and has not talked to me for two years. But he has been out of the country for long time. So once in a long while we talk. So this time he called and I said wow, this brother has not called for a long time what does he want this time?. We kept talking, we actually talked for an hour. I said, this guy must be having enough money..because he was the one paying and he kept talking from one story to another, fellowshipping. Finally, he actually told me what he wanted me to do for him. So I now finally knew he was consistent..the reason for the call is not me, it was him. Now when you learn that about your friends, you know how to deal with them.
If you want to influence others, let them know that you are interested in them .As God gives you ability, show you want their good. Don’t cheat them, because over time they will discover the truth.
The bible verse above says, rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. That’s why some African customs are not biblical. For example , you have been away when my mother died, you come two years later after I am reconciled to the loss and you want to mourn with me well I after I went over the death?. There are actually cultures who mourn well after the event, they even employ criers, who cry on hire. They come to your home after you forgot about the death of your mother and they cry from the house to the grave. You know you must also cry in sympathy, isn’t it? Now surely, were they thinking of their good or my good? If they are obeying the scriptures, you don’t cry until you find out whether I am crying. Maybe my mother is dead but we had talked to my mother she was in pain and she said, my son pray that I die rather than continue in this pain. I don’t want my mother to die but if that’s the way to finish pain, let her die. To your excitement God answered the prayers and she dies peacefully .She sleeps praising the lord. I am happy and rejoicing. Then you come to cry with me when am rejoicing. You need to find out my need. Even if my mother has died, don’t cry before you find out whether I am crying.
If you are going to influence people, they must know that you are bothered by what bothers them. That’s the way to influence them.
Day 6
Romans 12:16
Live in harmony with one another.
Adaptive
You must be both empathetic and Adaptive. Live in harmony with one another.
This is being adaptive; you are able to adapt yourself so that others find it easy to deal with you.
Be classless.
And Romans 12 :16 says,
Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.[c] Do not be conceited
What is that one saying? Be classless. You know there is somebody who told me they have been called to evangelism but they don’t preach anyhowly. We were young people, in fact we had not left university, but I wanted us to go to our home area various market places preaching. We didn’t even have a loud speaker but we were young people, and loud enough. We invited him to come with us because he had a car and we had no car. He said ‘I preach but I preach to organized people. I will not go with you to the open air evangelism.’ Do you know two years later, the guy had back sliden? When you are so class minded such that you only relate with a certain class chances are, it’s not Christ ruling in your heart. He came from heaven, didn’t he? And he came to us. Romans says, Christ Jesus died for us while we were yet sinners. He was even called a friend of sinners. So in the same way, you relate with all who need your help. If you think you are a valuable person, because you are called “manager”, and hence cannot go to your fellowship in the office, you have problem. You argue: after all most people who attend the fellowship are sweepers. You know they are sweepers in the job but in heaven they will be ruling, isn’t it? So you need to see people the way God looks at them.
Remember we are talking about how to be an example and influence others.
It will mean that people start seeing that you value them irrespective of their title. Of course if he is a manager, you will treat him as a manager. If he is a sweeper you will still treat him still like a manager. That idea of seeing people as value less, where you feel like a manager, and they as junior to you ,makes them avoid you.
As seen earlier, soon after joining my frist employer a bank I wanted to influence my place of employment and I thought we needed to gather together and pray so that we strategize to influence the Development bank. But unfortunately, the only people who came, were “mama chai-the tea ladies” and messengers. I was a young graduate. People felt like,’ because you are a young graduate, that’s why you go to that fellowship’. I later moved over to an oil company and again I was now some junior executive. Again after some time, we finally began a fellowship. But again nobody senior attended. In the early years I was always the senior most. Every time I got a promotion; I was the senior most person in the fellowship. Do you know ,interesting enough, finally I came to the top management, the leadership team, and still attended the fellowship. You know a lot of people will tell you the reason why they don’t attend the fellowship, it’s because they are busy. But you know lunch hour, is a time when everybody is trying to finish up on work but also eat, isn’t it? Now, this person who comes to the fellowship has sacrificed his eating time. The hunger of a messenger is equal to the hunger of the manager. Or do you think its different hunger? In fact that messenger may not have had enough food last night, yet he is willing to come to the fellowship. You had a three course meal last night, can’t you skip lunch? If you want to be honest, the real reason is the embarrassment of seeing a whole top manager, appearing in a fellowship where messengers are. You don’t want to be seen there, isn’t it? It could easily affect your upward mobility, when somebody notices that you associate with people of low status.
I want to tell you there is no Christianity that has class. That because I am manager I can not relate with a sweeper?
Some time back I was asked by a pastor to preach in Mathare, in Kiswahili.My Swahili is hopeless and am not asking you to listen to it. But if I were to say no because it is a slum, what kind of a person would I be ? What kind of message has God given me? I had to go to my Swahili bible, try to brush up my Swahili and for three Sundays, I gave an exposition on the book of Titus. You could see the impact on the people despite my bad Swahili.
What I am trying to say is that, that verse is real. You will not be of influence when you start becoming classy.Because you play golf you cannot talk to the ‘candy?” . And he is the one carrying your equipment. You can tell them about being a Christian, but that Candy knows your Christianity is fake. You don’t treat him like a person. So when you graduate out of Nazarene, out of Kabarak university , you have to remember a Christian does not have the privilege of creating classes. Even when you become the president of this country, you will have to attend fellowship with commoners . In this way others will admire your Christianity and soon be drawn in.
I have several politicians who were with me in the university and so we are friends. One of the things I criticize them is the fact that as soon as he is called a politician, he can’t even come to church regularly. The only time he comes to church is when he wants to speak. But you know his spiritual needs have not changed! They are even bigger. So if you don’t associate yourself with the fellowship how will you be helped spiritually?
I still remember in my days at Alliance high school…when a young boy was used of God to rebuke me. I was in Form Six, and this was a young boy in Form one, and we were having an evening fellowship.The boy started sharing something and God used what he was sharing to catch me about something I had done wrong. I felt so guilty that I was about to shed tears until I remembered it was a form one talking. You know I felt so embarrassed. Then I realized it was not the form one talking, it was Christ talking. The form one never knew what my problem was. But Christ knew. But then you feel,’ God surely shouldn’t you use somebody a little older’. The reason why you hear people who go up leadership become powerless spiritually and they don’t influence our nation, is because they start thinking that God can only use somebody like them to assist them spiritually . In fact they look at the pastor and despise him.
You know pastors originally used to be older than me, now most pastors are younger than me. Who tells you because the pastor is younger, God will not give him a word for you? It’s that classlessness, that will make you a man of influence because the word you hear in fellowship will strength you to make a stand back in your office .
Once you are able to mix with everyone, what happens? You can benefit from anyone and influence everyone. You will now be able to take the whole group to where God wants it to go.
Day 7
1 Corinthians 12:2
You know that when you were pagans, somehow or other you were influenced and led astray to mute idols
Conclusion
I hope, even without going through more issues, you are able to see the first point, that if you truly walk as a Christian, you will certainly be an example. Why? Because your standards will be so different and admirable by the world, they will want to find out why you act the way you do.
Number two, that you will not be a person of influence, if you don’t have interpersonal skills. You have to be a people person. You need to be an example like Timothy was told, in the way you live with others.
Let us pray that as young people graduate from universities to working world , that they will go with one thing in mind, how to influence the world for Christ. They will know that Christians are few and none of us will have the freedom not to be an example. That we want everyone of us, senior or junior , including the young Timothy’s, to become an example. That we should know that whatever it is we are doing, others are watching us. And we want that when they watch us, they will see an example to follow. That we will help our communities to go to where Christ wants them to go. Let us all make a commitment, to repent for our waywardness in the past and our freedom to be ourselves and we seek to become what God wants us to be, so that we can be good examples.