J. N. N. Ng’ang’a – Meditations for Nov 7-13th , 2011:…. if you do not manage peer pressure you will not influence your market place with Christian values
Day 1
Exodus 23:2
“Do not follow the crowd in doing wrong. When you give testimony in a lawsuit, do not pervert justice by siding with the crowd
Peers make the most powerful mob that is difficult to pull out of.For us not to be part of a mob we need to Manage Peer Pressure .We need instead to seek to influence our peers rather succumbing to their influence. And by the way when I say peer pressure, it may be family pressure for peers are not just your age mates. There is a certain expectation by your parents, by your brothers and sisters, that could be causing you to make wrong decisions. That too in my definition is some type of peer pressure. Peer pressure also includes pressure from friends.
Day 2
Judges 6:31
But Joash replied to the hostile crowd around him, “Are you going to plead Baal’s cause? Are you trying to save him? Whoever fights for him shall be put to death by morning! If Baal really is a god, he can defend himself when someone breaks down his altar.”
Why one follows the peers?
Christians are supposed to be strict followers of Jesus and no one else and in that way set examples for all others to follow. Why do born again people not become the example we are describing? Yet am telling you example is the best way of leading or influence our market place.
The first cause I think is the fear of rejection. At times you feel that you so much want to be accepted by the group, that you do whatever the group will approve, isn’t it? However, you cannot be a Christian and seek people’s approval. Whose approval should you seek? God’s approval. There are various opportunities where you know if you do it a certain way, everybody will agree with it, and you will benefit. This way you do not have to fight. Nobody enjoys fighting with people, nobody enjoys a hostile atmosphere. So you behave in a way that will remove this hostile atmosphere. But I want to tell you that fear of rejection, need for acceptance, can cause you not to be a good example.
Day 3
Job 31:34
……because I so feared the crowd and so dreaded the contempt of the clans that I kept silent and would not go outside—
Secondly ,why we follow the peers is ,lack of being sure of who you are and therefore allowing others to define you. You like when people say to you,’ oooh! You are such a wonderful girl’.That’s what people want to hear. Now, do you know who you are? You know some people wake up not knowing who they are, they are waiting for others to tell them who they are. I want to tell you, If you don’t know who you are, others will tell you who you are. In such a case you are not a leader. You cannot influence others, if you are seeking the same people you are trying to influence, to be the ones to tell you who you are.
If you are to have an influence in the market place ,it will be critical that you know who you are very clearly. Like, if you wear your suit, wear it properly, go to a mirror look at yourself, be happy with yourself. When you go there, and they say, what an ugly suit, that’s their business. It will not affect your day. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You looked at yourself in the mirror and you liked yourself. Did you read the stories of “Abunwasi” in primary school? There is a guy who started by being carried by a donkey, then finally he was told he is wrong and ended carrying the donkey instead . That’s what happens to a person who is not sure of himself .He is without influence.
If you allow other people to start defining you, you will stop being carried by the donkey, you will start carrying the donkey. Its important that you make a decision, I want to find out from God, who am I? He created you a purpose and so knows really who are or who you ought to be. Once you are sure who you are, it will give you the moral courage, the confidence, to be able to do what God wants you to accomplish. People will confuse you and you will not reach that purpose. I have discovered that unfortunately ,it is like people have a ministry of discouragement. Have you ever heard of that ministry? Whatever you try to do, they feel like they are anointed to discourage you from doing it . It’s very important to understand that if you don’t know who you are, and you don’t get your encouragement from God, chances are, you will never influence others..they will influence you . You cannot be an example.
Day 4
Mark 8:38
If anyone is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his Father’s glory with the holy angels.”
self doubt
the second cause of succumbing to peer pressure is related to my third one, self doubt. ‘Are you sure?’, they ask. Then you feel like changing your decision. If your decision is well thought out , well researched, you asked all you thought know the subject better than you before you made your decision, then you should stick with it. People don’t want to follow someone who is not sure of what they are saying. Am not suggesting that whatever comes out of your mouth, you expect people to follow. What am saying is, be careful what you say with your mouth. Research your facts , consult others….and once you are sure about them, talk. All of the research is done in the background. It means that you have the idea of what God has given you, you have researched on it, you have even tested it on people, (we call it “you have piloted the idea”), once you are now sure you have heard from God, now go before them without doubt. You are likely to influence them..even if they initially try to put doubts in you.
Once you have a truck record of coming up with good ideas then people will tend to be influenced by your ideas both in the professional area but even in their personal lives.
Day 5
“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.”
Lack of security
The Fourth cause of influence by peers is Lack of security, where you feel like, I have no future. If I lost this job what would happen to me? That’s lack of security. If I lose this position , if I don’t become a member of parliament next time, what will happen to me. For a lot of politicians, that’s the problem. They use five years to try to earn another five years. So they never accomplish something in the first five years because they were waiting to hear from people they are leading rather than leading them. They are not giving direction, they are followers rather than leaders. They are doing what some in the community say they should do even not beneficial to whole community in the long term, so that they do not lose their votes. If the community insists on FGM (female circumcision) then they wonder,’ I know it is bad but what can I do? If they go against it, they will lose in the next election. You are supposed to be leading them, yet they are leading you. It’s important that you clarify, who is leading who . But as long as you you’re your future is insecure you dare not do the right thing
In the same way if you keep fearing your business will fail unless you behave in away your clients want ,even if you do not believe it is biblically right, then you will not influence them and instead they will influence you.
In employment the only way you can influence others to do the right thing is when you become ready to loose your job aware that you can still survive after that. You know that if you are fired this will give you even a greater influence because the others see that you really believe in the things you tell them. But you cannot stand your ground if you suffer from insecurity.
In the mafia world you influence will come only when you do not fear to die aware that heaven is a good place to go if the Lord chooses not to protect you from the mafia’s gun when you stick with the truth. Again your death will give even a bigger impact as all realize you really believe in what you say enough to die for it.
I am not suggesting you court death. That will be suicide and the bible condemns it. However if you die for the truth then you will influence many.
Day 6
Acts 13:45
When the Jews saw the crowds, they were filled with jealousy. They began to contradict what Paul was saying and heaped abuse on him
Scarcity mentality
Another thief of influence is scarcity mentality. It’s a thing that will never allow you to accomplish anything. What do you think scarcity mentality is? The idea of depending on others is part of it . You always don’t feel like you have enough. You always think others have more than you have. Now if you are a beggar, you cannot influence the donor.
I argue in my Book on leadership…LEADERS SOURCE OF INFLUNCE… that many African pastors are in this category .Some pastors do not rely on the salary they are getting from the board of deacons, they also want gifts from the members. They feel so poor they ask, ‘how can I say no to such gift even if they end up compromising my decisions? ’.I heard of a pastor who said , ‘you know everything I am wearing here has been given to me by some of you who care .This tie and this shirt, this shoe, everything, I have been given.’ Of course you know what he is telling the rest of the congregation,’ you are the only one who have not given me yet.’ Wherever you hear a pastor start thanking his few benefactors publicly instead of thanking them personally for giving him, he may be telling the ones who have not given, they have been defeated in the game of gaining his favor.
And you know what happens? You can’t give something, for nothing. When your daughter who is pregnant wants to be married, you will want a proper ‘holy wedding’, and you want the pastor ignore the fact the she is pregnant before the wedding. (Of course pregnant is not the sin, what happened before the pregnancy is . But you need to understand that some churches have certain rules about it which at times are broken for the rich benefactors).
What I am trying to say is that if you are dependent on others, and the day comes when you have to make a stand, they may not have to remind you, ‘do you remember the suit you had the other Sunday?’ .Pay day has come.
So you have many pastors totally powerless…. they are controlled by the congregation. They are like.. the tail is wagging the dog, rather than the dog wagging the tail.
Day 7
Daniel 3
16 Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to him, “King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. 17 If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us[c] from Your Majesty’s hand. 18 But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”
This inability to deal with peer pressure is the reason we are graduating crowds of born again believers from our universities , they join industry, you will never hear of their Christian influence again. This message is to change that. Where you are so sure about God’s goodness, you will make your stand even if you lose your job in the process. Aware that God will walk with you into the future. The Christian standards of integrity, will now percolate, not just in Christian organizations, but also in industry. This country has hope if young people, who trust in the Lord, enter into industry, enter into government offices, and stand for Christ. This country will never be the same again. That’s what this message is all about.