Day 1
But godliness with contentment is great gain
It is a discussion on contentment, being contented in times like this, like when there was COVID-19. How do you live a contented life?
I have three reasons why I think it is a very important topic. Number one, it is a very, very important discussion because contented people never suffer depression. Whenever you hear somebody is suffering from stress and depression, be aware that they have a problem somewhere because they are not satisfied. So,if you can learn how to be contented, my brother there is no way you will ever suffer from stress or suffer from depression.
I am sure a trained psychologist will help us, to define stress a little better. But I am told that stress is our reaction to stressors. Both of us, you and me, can go through the same stressors, but me I am okay, I am contented. You, you have to start taking medicine. What is the difference between us? Understanding contentment. And it makes it very important especially during time of crisis.
And by the way the stressors can be excitement of either a positive thing or a negative thing, but either of them, if you can’t manage it you will end up a sick person. So that’s why I thought this is a very important topic especially about such a time.
I think the second reason why it is an important topic is because if we are not contented, there is a big possibility that you are going to be bitter and complaining and spoil your relationships. Also , bitterness is not a way to heaven. You cannot be bitter against God, and at the same time be a person who is going to heaven, because those who are going to heaven are people who have said with Jesus Christ on the garden of Gethsemane, Lord I don’t like the experience I am going through, I hate it, yet not my will but yours.
You are contented when you fit in God’s program even if the program is totally uncomfortable, like it happened to Jesus on the garden of Gethsemane.When we talk about contentment, it doesn’t mean that things are moving well, it means you have actually accepted them.
Lack of contentment may be one way of starting your backsliding. You have not yet backslidden but you have started your journey to backsliding, because it means you are unhappy with God and you feel like God is doing the wrong thing.
You know a lot of us want to serve the Lord, but the vacancy we are looking for in God’s service is to be his advisor. You know, we want to advise God. Unfortunately, there is absolutely no vacancy. God does not require any advisors. Contentment therefore means, you are willing to accept what God wants. Hence, to me it is a very, very important thing to discuss contentment because with contentment you are able to allow God to be God.
Day 2
Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity
But thirdly why this topic is important is because if you are not contented, your testimony will be affected. If everybody around you, you are telling them to get saved but they can see that you are not enjoying contentment, you are certainly not a good advertisement for the kingdom of God. And so, when you discover the secret of contentment especially when things are going bad and you are yet contented, you become an example that attracts people towards Jesus Christ, because your contentment, people discover it is because you are in Jesus. Then they say, waaah. That Jesus who can give Otieno that kind of a contentment, that is the kind of Jesus I want.
So those are three reasons why this is an important topic especially for a counselling department that has to deal with people of all types that are going through all kinds of things. But you see, you can’t really counsel others to the way of contentment when you yourself are not experiencing contentment. And that’s why I am saying you need pillars of contentment.
The things we are discussing will be things that help you to have stay contented.… The first pillar I want to talk about is about living a balanced life. You cannot have contentment, you can’t say you are contented until you are living, and you are maintaining a balance in your life.
Any athletics team knows that they need to balance between offence and defence. And I know many men reading this watch football, many of them, not all of them. Their teams have to have a balance between quickness and strength. Some of the players are quick but they are not strong. But, you need a balance.
When you talk about a contented person, it is a person maintaining a balance. Another example,is in our personal finances, we work to maintain a balance between income and expenses. And that’s a very, very important thing when we talk about contentment especially at a time when joblessness and business collapse is on the rise. That is really a secret. In fact my wife and I after more than twenty years of marital counselling, we have come to a conclusion, if one spouse or the other or both, does not know how to live within their means, that marriage is bound to be in trouble.
What is to live within your means? It is to balance income and expenses. And it sounds such a straight forward thing, but many, many people, and some of them are reading this , do not have that balance. And you know you need to discover that it is not the amount of money you get that makes the difference. In the 1970s when we left the university, and there were not many people who were graduating in the seventies, so we sounded were very, very educated, but all we were getting, the salary of a graduate was around two thousand Kenya shillings. And we lived on that. We were able to rent, a house in BuruBuru was about nine hundred shillings, two bedroomed. So, you were able to live within the means. Two thousand did not include the house allowance. We lived in it. Somehow you balanced within the two thousand shillings. You know you will start working and within no time you are getting promotions, after some time you start earning twenty thousand, and discover now you are earning ten times what you started earning. Yet with twenty thousand, you are totally unable to cope.
Day 3
1 Corinthians 16:1-3
Now about the collection for the Lord’s people: Do what I told the Galatian churches to do. On the first day of every week, each one of you should set aside a sum of money in keeping with your income, saving it up, so that when I come no collections will have to be made. Then, when I arrive, I will give letters of introduction to the men you approve and send them with your gift to Jerusalem
My friend, when we talk about living within your means, we are not talking about increasing your income. The point you need to understand is that contented people fit within every size of income. You know I am a Gideon, and there was a time somebody encouraged me to give Bibles within Kibera valley slums, and so I would drive and pack my car at the DO’s place, and the teachers would send boys to carry the cartons with me. And is distributed from school to school. So I spent quite a few months moving among about seventy schools, that is non-conventional schools ,in the place. At least by when I was doing it. So as I was moving I had time to talk to people, and you will discover that this mzee does not have a permanent job but he goes to Industrial Area everyday to check if he get some job for day . The total income that he gets in a month is ten thousand shillings. But within that ten thousand shillings, he is able to pay rent for his house, look after the family of four children and a wife, and even has a few shillings for drinking. Now, for some of you reading this , when you have ten thousand shillings in your pocket, you think you are in trouble. Yet, he can live within ten thousand for a whole month.
So, you need to understand that when you are unable to live within your means, it is not lack of income, it is simply that you haven’t learnt the secret of contentment. I have written a book called The Secret of Contentment. The reason I call it secret is because if it was an open thing, how come so many people are complaining and dissatisfied? It must be such a secret, only very few people discover it. And one of the emphasis I want to give today is that anybody who can help someone to learn to live within his income will have given him the secret of contentment. It is a pillar of contentment. And that thing has helped me.
I used to work for a multinational company. Then you retire. Your income immediately kind of drops. Maybe not for everybody but many people, the income in retirement is not as big as when you are working. My friend, some people then suffer. They are continuing living like they are still working, driving the same vehicles. Within no time they are in debts. They are in their sixties or seventies and in debts. And that is a crisis. The children have to stop what they are doing to help a parent who otherwise used to be very, very capable. But because he never learnt the secret of contentment, he is unable to cope. Yet you need to understand you can cope in anything.
Day 4
I, Nebuchadnezzar, was at home in my palace, contented and prosperous
Let me give you several examples so that you understand this thing. You know, if you are talking about a car, you need transport. a Mercedes will cost you maybe ten million shillings or thereabout. A Mercedes-Benz car in Kenya costs KSh 10,000,000 on average, depending heavily on the model, year of manufacture, and condition (locally used vs. foreign import). High-Performance AMG Models: Electronically capped at 280 km/h to 305 km/h (174–190 mph) or higher when equipped with the optional AMG Driver’s Package, but A vitz may cost you one million. According to recent vehicle market data from platforms like Garisea, the median asking price sits around KSh 1,050,000. 1.0-Liter (1000cc): Reaches a top speed of about 140 to 160 km/h (87 to 99 mph) (https://www.google.com/search?)
But do you know both of them carry only five people? Unless you are in business and in transport, vitz is adequate. And even if you are in transport business you can’t use a Mercedes for it.Why would you go to buy a ten million shillings vehicle to carry five people when you can have a one million vehicle to carry the same five people?
Admit you are driving a Mercedes to impress people who don’t even care about you. They are not even bothered. They don’t know where you got your money from. They are not impressed. They may even start thinking you stole. Can’t you see the secret of living with your means is very clear? If you pray to God for transport He can give you transport because transport is a vehicle and He will give it to you. Why does the make bother you? It is foolishness. You know, if you and me are going to Nakuru, and you are driving a vitz and I am driving a Mercedes, do you know we will arrive at the same time? Why? Most of the journey from Nairobi to Nakuru is downwards, or either flat or downwards. Downwards, a vitz can drive at a hundred and sixty kilometres per hour. Unfortunately, the Kenyan government does not allow it. The maximum speed allowed on the Kenyan road is a hundred km per hour, except a hundred and ten when there is a dual carriage way. And by my time of writing there is no dual carriage way to Nakuru. So, you will be at a hundred. The Mercedes can drive at three hundred kilometres an hour, much faster than a vitz. But the vitz and a Mercedes have to follow each other like they are on the same journey. Why? Even the Mercedes cannot drive, higher, faster than a hundred kilometres an hour, unless he is a corrupt guy who wants to keep bribing police on the road.
So, whatever, you use ten million shillings to arrive in Nakuru at the same time with a guy who has only used one million. And I am not saying you should not buy a big machine, I am saying, check whether you can afford it. And if you can, no problem. I am told a Mercedes is much more stable on the road. You know there are several extra gadgets. But if all you wanted is transport and you cannot afford a Mercedes, you are quite okay with a vitz.
Day 4
Romans 13:8
8 Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law
You can see there are many people who are bothered by other makes when they park outside the church. They are bothered which car, oh, you know a Mercedes parked next to me. You have no idea what money God has given the owner. Can’t you be excited that both of you are able to drive to church? Contentment means since you don’t know my income, don’t start planning for me. How do you know that my parents did not die last year and they left me a lot of money, I don’t even know what to do with it? That’s why I have bought a Mercedes. You, your parents are still alive and they have not left you anything, you are struggling with your own salary. Why does what I do with my much money affect what you do with your little money? These are personal budgets.
You can see clearly, why I am telling you lack of contentment has nothing to do with your income. It has something to do with your level of foolishness, where you start living your life for others, living in competition with others.
From private of public schools, they both meet at Alliance high school, both of them. So why would you take your children to a school you can’t afford, to get nothing, because even the other one is offering the same thing?
Anyway, all I wanted is to emphasize that the secret of contentment is living within your means. And if you cannot live within your means now, do not think that when you get more money you will live within your means. If you are condemned not to live within your means, even if I triple your income, you will start wanting things you can’t afford and you will still be struggling. That’s why a lot of people live in debts. Why are you living in debts? Because you do not know how to live within your income.
Why would you want to borrow money for something that is not an investment? Borrow for consumption? It doesn’t look very clever. But that’s what some people do. So, when they get a salary it is to pay back debts. They get the next salary, they never enjoy their money because they are just like a conduit for money. Money comes and goes; next moth money comes and goes. They have no budget because their total income is going to paying debts. Why can’t you come out of the debt position and you will start enjoying your life because you are able to fit everything within your means? If you counsel anybody on that, you will start seeing people enjoying their life, their income has not increased but they enjoy their life on a continuous basis. And I think that’s something we need to pray that God will help us to deal with.
Yes, there are certain prerequisites which are part of the contentment pillars. I am talking about the prerequisites to living a contented life. One is learning to avoid the dictatorship of the urgent. You know you need something but you feel like I must have it now, now, now. That’s why people end up in debts. That is called the dictatorship of the urgent. And I don’t have enough time to deal with this in full.
But this is a big topic, avoiding the dictatorship of the urgent. Do you know some urgent things are not necessarily important? So, you need to divide your life challenges, or the things you do in life must be divided between the important and the urgent. In other words, out of all the things you have to do, find out what is most important. Then rate the urgency.Now, when it is important and urgent, that should be the thing that is done first. Then you now come to things that are important but nor urgent. Then finally on the third level, do the urgent things that are not important, only after clearing the important things.
Day 5
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you
But how would you decide what is important? You decide what is important on the basis of your calling. Why do you believe God created you? Why do you believe God saved you? As a family, why do you think you were brought together as a couple? I normally tell people, please write your eightieth birthday speech. What do you hear people saying in your eightieth birthday? This mzee has blessed us in the following ways. In which way does God expect you to bless your wife, your children, your community, your professional life? When you can have your eightieth birthday speech, the rest of your life, you live to achieve that. What is important is what helps you to be true to your eightieth birthday speech. How you deal with your wife is so that you can hear the things you have written for your eightieth birthday as true.
Of course, it is a secret document, you don’t tell her what you have written. At 80th birthday you believe she will accept the way you have impacted her and so agree to read it. That is the way you want to live your life, so that she can say in the eightieth birthday speech; this has been my husband for fifty years. I just want to tell you the impact he has had on my life. What impact do you leave? If it is no true, of course she is an old lady, she will not read nonsense.
But you are writing now so it forces you to live your life in a certain way. That way, knowing what is important in your life. Don’t allow urgent things to dictate to you.
For example if your car exhaust is leaking, do you know you will repair it within the same day because as you are driving out of the estate, it will make such noise, everybody knows. That day you will not come back with it unrepaired. But your car can be lacking brakes, which is a death trap. And you are too busy, you come home and you are still using your handbrake, the foot brakes are not working. Surely, that is foolishness, because exhaust cannot make you have an accident. It is not that important. It is urgent but not important. Brakes are both important and urgent, yet we are foolish enough to start spending time on urgent things and ignoring the important things. You need to go into your life that way.
This life of contentment comes when you know that a lot of things that are calling on my time are urgent, but given my calling, given my eightieth birthday speeches, given my vision, given my purpose, they are not important. I have written a book called discovering your life’s purpose, because once you discover it, it is now easy to tell what is important and what is not important. You fail to do many things others hold as important but you still sleep well.Contented since you know they are not important to you life calling.
Thus when you live within your calling, not just within your means but within your calling, you now know what to throw out and not take as urgent.
Day 6
Proverbs 25:28
28 Like a city whose walls are broken through
is a person who lacks self-control
Number three contentment pillar is you need to live a disciplined life. My friend, the word disciple has the same route as the word discipline. Both of them are related. Disciples are people who are disciplined to follow their master. You cannot have a contented life when you are not disciplined. What is to disciplined? Young people call it the D word because they don’t like discipline. What is to be disciplined? It is to do what needs to be done even when you don’t enjoy it. A lot of people, if I go back to living outside your means, is they are unable to save, although that’s not our topic today, they are unable to save because they use everything, they eat everything they have. They are not disciplined enough to say, no, our budget says, only this much can be used, I will not use more, I am saving. And you know if you save and invest, in later life, there will be a new income stream. You will still be getting a salary plus another income stream.
But if you are not disciplined, you eat everything; consumption, without any saving and investment. But that’s not just the issue of money. It is the issue of your life and how you live your life. A lot of marriages suffer because of lack of discipline. A woman is in this thing, and they are all good things, she is in this thing, she is in that department, that other department. She has abandoned her children. She is not disciplined enough to know that the dictionary not only has a name called yes, it also has another word called no. And there are times when no is the right word. It requires discipline to be able to say no to a good thing. Saying no to a bad thing is very easy, but you have to say no to good things. Disciplined people say no to good things. Why? So that they can do the better things. So,when you hear somebody is contented, it is because they are not being moved from side to side, by good things that are not within her priority.
They do not regret saying oh I should have done it.No, no, no. You decided not to do it. Other people may have done it and they are doing very well. But for you, you decided. You are happy to live within your discipline even if it has caused certain challenges, because it is a choice you made. You prayed about it, you felt God led you into it, you are happily in it.
Day 7
But I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might show you my power and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth
So, you need to ask, given my calling are there things I should be doing I am not doing? Why am I not doing this other one? People who are contented do not do everything around, they only do what they have decided to do. And they are disciplined enough to do it.
You know, when my children were young, I told them, you need to learn how to finish things. It requires discipline. So, I tell them, if you want to read a book, don’t pick a book and start reading it, then somewhere along the way you dump it. Later you will be asked, have you read that book? You don’t know because you left it before the end. It may be boring the first two chapters, but maybe the other chapters are very interesting. How will you know? So first read the table of contents, read the beginning, skim through the book, see whether you are interested in the content. If you are interested, even if the book is boring, read it to the end. That’s what we call discipline; finishing whatever you have set out to do.
There are people who join departments, then the chairman or the head of the department says something which they don’t like, and they just drop it. That is lack of discipline. Discipline is doing something you know is valuable, honoring to God, even when you don’t enjoy doing it. That is what we call discipline. And people who end up realizing their potential are people who are disciplined. But number two, they will be people who understand contentment. They are satisfied. They live their life happily.
You know like God when He created the earth, every evening He said it is good. The next day He again said it is good. That’s a life of contentment when you are able to say about small task it is good. Enjoy quick wins. Do not wait until whole project done. And I think that’s a very, very important issue.
Each day’s decision made on how the item supports fulfillment of your calling, and you must have the ability to say no .
We have covered so far avoiding the dictatorship of the urgent. But I want to ask you as I am discussing, for you to ask yourself, right questions before each decision?