Day 1

1 Timothy 5

V1. Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers,

In 1 Timothy chapter five, vs 1 we read,

The chapter is about relationships, and it starts with how to deal with the relationship between the older person and the younger. But in verse two, he now moves on to older women as mothers and how you are to relate with them as older mothers. And how are you to relate with younger women, especially when you are a young pastor. And here we are told you must relate with young women as sisters with absolute purity. That”s the way Christian boys are to relate to Christian girls in the fellowship.

Absolute purity is required as you relate to the opposite sex. When you are in a church or, church youth group, the instructions are clear. Even if you are a youth leader, you need to know your standard: absolute purity.

But then Paul goes on in verse three to talk about widows. And here he talks about women who have lost their husbands and, therefore, are in economic need. So, the whole subject changes to dealing with the needy. How to relate with the needy comes out very well in our churches.

Day 2

1 Timothy 5

2 older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity

But then in verse four, he changes the subject. He says, not all people in need must be helped. Just listen to verse four.

But if a widow has children or grandchildren, this should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents for this is pleasing to God.

The passage goes on to say

The widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in the Lord and continues night and day to pray and ask God for help. But the widow who lives for pleasure is dead while she lives.

Paul wants this to be covered by any pastor

Give the people these instructions so that no one may be open to blame. Anyone who does not provide for their relatives and especially for their own household has denied the faith and is worse than a non-believer.

Call it a mouthful. But let’s hear the instructions on how different groups of people can relate with each other in the church of Jesus Christ. If you have widows in your congregation, but in the same congregation, you have children of that widow, then the church welfare fund should not be covering them.

According to Paul”s instructions, the sons and daughters of such a widow must look after their parent. And so, although we call it African socialism or African tradition, the truth of the matter is, the bible itself instructs you to help your parents in their old age, especially when we are talking about a widow or a widower. By that age, they have gone beyond where they have the strength to feed themselves. So, there are clear instructions, whether you come from European culture, American culture, it is expected by the scriptures that you should actually help your own parents, your biological parents, the ones who looked after you. it will be important that you look after them in turn. Remember, it is the same bible that says your family will be a different family from your parents” family.

The bible says

for this reason, a man will leave his mother and father.

And although it is in the Old Testament, Jesus later brought it in the New Testament. That way indicates that when you get married, you must live separately from your parents. But even if you are living separately from your parents, they should die out of hunger because you are living in a separate place. The scriptures are instructing you to spend time and look after their needs. And saying the issue is their need, not their luxury. Your mother is not to ask you; can you buy me a ticket to visit Europe as tourist. That”s useful if you are rich, but that”s not the kind of need I think Paul is talking about..

Anybody who would have such kinds of tastes it may be mostly because the husband left her with enough finances to do such things. But in terms of real need, the children who may be married and living away from home are still expected to be thinking of the survival of their own parents.

Day 3

1 Timothy

3 Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need.

Of course, in the same way, this widowed parent must in turn, be careful that she respects this biblical instruction that a man and a woman need to form a separate home. She should not force herself onto their marriage, which may destroy their marriage. As much as possible, if she is not sick, she should live separately and helped from where she is, so that you don”t end up sorting one problem and in the process creating another one.

So, let’s be clear, according to Paul, the needy widows without supporting relatives are the only ones that should be helped in the church.

The needy widows who have no children are the ones who can be helped. If they have children, then the children should help. What about if the children are not available, but there are grandchildren around? Because if you are old, by that time your grandchildren are also adults, what about these grandchildren helping? Paul says yes, if the children are not available or are not able to help their mother, their children, that means the grandchildren, should step in. If they truly are Christians and they fear God, they cannot see their grandparents suffering and then refuse to help them.

So, here the bible is telling the grandchildren to step in. Paul reasons as to why they need to get involved. And he says that way, the children or grandchildren or both, are learning first to put their religion into practice.

In other words, if they truly are Christians, it should be evident in the way they help their own family and the extended family. If you cannot help your extended family, Paul seems to wonder which kind of Christianity are you claiming to be having, and you are not helping your parents. Put your religion into practice, show your trust in God, show your faith, by helping your parents or grandparents.

And then he goes on to say, not just that you learn first to put your religion into practice.We are not saying those are the only people you help, that”s where you begin. But you can help many people who have nothing to do with your relationship, as a Christian. You will want to help as the church is being encouraged .

But first, don”t go helping the people in the slums when your own relatives with similar needs and yet you are ignoring them. That”s what I hear when he says first. It shows that there are still second and third, who must be helped. In the same way you begin preaching in Jerusalem, go to Judea, then you can continue moving. But start first with your own family by practicing your faith in helping them.

How will you do that, caring for your own family. Caring. So, that”s a very wide word. Maybe they have nowhere to sleep, it is helping them to rent a house. Maybe they have nothing to eat, it is helping them get them something to eat. That”s how you care for your own family.

Day 4

Matthew 6

Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.

Of course there is something else. Whereas looking at what Jesus talked about family think first of your spouse but, a new couple that is beginning their family, they should continue regarding their own parents as part of their extended family. In fact, Paul is calling them their own family. That means those parents and grandparents are still your parents.

That way ask yourself, do you visit them? How do you tell whether they are suffering or not if you have cut all your relationships. It is not a good practice of your religion, according to Paul, if you have abandoned your parents or grandparents and you are able to help them. You are doing nothing about caring for them; your own family. So, the first thing is, the reason why you are going to take care of your elderly people, it is because that”s what is expected of somebody who has faith in Christ.

Number two reason for helping them, he is bringing a very African concept. He is saying, you are repaying your parents and grandparents. So, in other words, remember as a grandchild, you would not be alive if your grandparents had died young. As a child, you would be alive if your parents did not have an input in you. God is the one who brought you to where you are, but you are a product of God using your parents and grandparents. That”s the second reason why you need to help your relatives. Because God has used them. So, as a way of being grateful, you do something. In fact, the bible is saying,

so repaying their parents and grandparents.

So that”s the second reason why you need to help your extended family. But thirdly, as to why you help your extended family, it is because it is pleasing to God. In other words, it is a way of worship.

You know some people sing choruses for a whole hour and they call it worship. Here we are being told true worship will be seen in your actions. That when you do that, it pleases God. And remember worship is pleasing God. So, you may really talk about pleasing God in worship if you are actually taking care of your extended family. This is pleasing to God. So, it just means that the church must get involved in more than just spiritual activity of getting people to God and discipling them. And anyway, you can”t talk about discipling anybody and you have not taught them what the scriptures require of people who stay together.

What does the scripture require of a Christian who has living parents or grandparents? That helping is part of the discipleship process. And you can”t say you have helped your church if they don”t know what is expected of them. The work of a pastor, Timothy gets to know, is to teach them, to instruct them. And that must be something that you, as a pastor must ensure.

That”s what verse four is saying. But remember, the general idea is about widows who are in need. So, in verse five, Paul goes on to describe the widow who is really in need. Now that we have said that, not all of them are in need because if your children and grandchildren are looking after you, your needs should be covered by them. But then you still have widows in the church who have no such relatives. Those are the ones that Paul is calling widows who are in need.

They must be identified. They must be helped. Don”t say that you should be helped by your relatives. Have you found out that this particular widow has relatives? If you know they have no relatives, and the general church is not doing anything about it, they are not practicing true Christianity. Because this widow is left all alone and destitute. She has no relatives. So why should you be helping her? Because she is destitute. Number one, she is left all alone. She comes to church, she worships with you, when she goes home She may be sleeping hungry. The church should not allow that. Part of the money that people are giving to the church is to look after such people.

Day 5

Matthew 6

2 ‘”So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.

Thus, the reason why you must help them is that number one, they are totally in need. Number two, Paul goes on to say, because her hope is in God. She has nobody else to look up to. Her hope is in God. She is praying to God, and God wants to use his church to answer that prayer need. That”s why you should help her. As a Christian lady, she is not doing anything evil. She is not operating outside there, so that you say she will be looked after by strangers. She is part of your church family. Question: do you understand that her hope is in God? And if her hope is in God and you belong to God, God wants to use you.

That”s the second reason why you must help these needy people in your church. Thirdly, she continues night and day to pray. She not only puts her hope in God, instead of doing things widows can do that do not please the Lord; she has become a prayer warrior. The extra time she has because she has no own family, is spent night and day in prayer. So, she is like an employee of the church, in the sense that she spends her time praying for the people of God.

You should then feel obligated as a church to help somebody who is using her time to minister to the church by praying day and night for this church. That”s another reason why you must help them. You know, she spends her time praying at night to ask God for help. Help for herself, help for others. Can you then imagine if she cannot get any help from God’s church. That would not be a good testimony for the church.

However, I note something, she is not begging. The bible here says, she is IN real need, yes, but Paul says she is not a beggar. She is spending her time clearly in prayer, asking God to provide for her rather than asking people. So, when you have somebody in church who is always begging from people, that”s not the example we have here. If you are a Christian, talk to God, then the God you talked to will talk to the people and the people will come and help you. That way the glory goes to God. The reason they gave you is not because you begged them, it is because God told them to do like he is saying in this passage of scripture.

So, the idea of saying, Ooh this church has so many rich people. How come I can”t go home by car with somebody dropping me home? How comes I am using the bus and there are so many people here with cars?

Talk to God. And if God wants you to get a lift, you will get a lift because he will talk to somebody who will feel obliged to give you a lift to your home. So, it is important to get this concept that Paul is giving, that this needy widow prays to God, asking for help.

And I think that”s an important thing to ask yourself. You know, Psalms 121:1 is asking, where does my help come from? Not from the mountain. You are tempted to look at the mountain, but it comes from the Lord, the creator of heaven and earth. So do not go to church expecting the church is the one to help you. Although the church has been asked to help you, please go to God and God will touch them and they will help. That will be something important.

Day 6

Matthew 6

4 so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

We are still discussing widows in verse six.

But the widow who lives for pleasure is dead even when she lives.

We are learning, for Paul is very clear. Not all widows will be helped. We have seen that the widows who cannot be helped are widows who have children or grandchildren who can help them. Number two, not to be helped are widows who are using the help for pleasure. The widow who lives for pleasure is not a candidate for the help Paul is talking about. You live for pleasure. If she is truly part of the church”s responsibility rather than giving to the community, and we agreed before you help the community, you need to help in the church first, then, although she may be attending the church, she is not really an initial candidate for help.

The problem is that she may be living for pleasure. Of course, she has no husband, but she is sleeping around. She has no husband, but she is stealing husbands from the women of the church. No. That kind of woman is not good. She is not the target for the kind of help widows are being told they must have. In fact, Paul describes her as dead. You are spiritually dead. For you to be a widow and you are living like that, you are spiritually dead, although you look alive. Let me read it again.

But the widow who lives for pleasure is dead even while she lives.

So, it is an important thing to know that even when you talk about the poor, not all will get help. So, verse seven then says, it is Timothy being told,

you need to give the people these instructions.

The discipleship process requires more than just assurance of salvation. Even how to deal with people is part of the discipleship process. You need to ask your congregation, What does God expect of you as you deal with people. Give people these instructions so that no one may be open to blame. So do not go helping a widow who is living for pleasure, and you end up tempted and becoming sexually involved with the widow and then your own marriage with your wife is in trouble. And you are then displeasing the Lord. Clear instructions will prevent men frombeing caught up by tempting widows. Clear instructions will help. Paul is telling Timothy, Please give these instructions. Why?

So that no one maybe open to blame. How can you get blame? if you end up in sexual sin in the name of helping the widow, and that”s one possibility. But number two, if you ignore helping the truly needy widow, you will still get a blame. If from nobody else, you will get a blame from God.

And thirdly, you may avoid the blame if you become somebody who does not know how to pray to God for help and you become a nuisance in the fellowship. Verse eight goes on to say,

anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith, and he is worse than a non-believer.

So, here we have been talking about needy people in the church, but also we have been talking about the extended family. Paul wants to put a clincher to anyone who calls himself a Christian and is not touched by the needs of others, there is a question mark about his submission to the Holy Spirit. For if the Holy Spirit is in you, he will cause you to love people, and if you love them, you will be touched by their needs.

But worse still are people who are claiming to be Christians but they are not even helping those of their own households. That means, your wife is destitute. Your children are destitute. And you are the man who happens to be a deacon or an elder. Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, these are the grandparents, the widow who is your grandmother or your parents, and then hischildren, is terrible.

But especially if your nuclear family is in need and you are not actually providing, that”s one sign that you have backslidden. You have denied the faith. How do you tell that? You are not supposed to judge people, but if they are not doing what is expected of a Christian, you are not judging them. You are just not seeing their fruits. Jesus told us, we shall know them but their fruits. In other words, don”t be a judge, but you can be a fruit inspector. And one of the ways of knowing one is not serious with God is the fact that they are not bothered to help the family, people generally, but especially those that are not helping their relatives, and worse if they are not helping in their own household. It”s a sign they have backslidden.

They have denied the faith. And what is worse, even non-believers actually help. So, they are actually worse than a non-believer. I don”t know how you can be calling yourself a Christian but the bible is saying, you are not only not a Christian, you are worse than a non-believer. That”s a very serious accusation to have.

Day 7

Acts 4:34

that there were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned land or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales

So, what are we actually saying? The statement, If any widow has children”, it was a way of Paul letting you know there are people who can get help. Those who are legitimately helped by the church, we have seen, should not have family to assist them. If they have family to assist them, it is the responsibility of that family rather than the general church. So, there are real widows we have seen, and widows that are not truly left alone.

With adult children, although they have no husband, but they really are getting care. If there is no one to help her, then she is somebody in real need. This is because there are no relatives who either will or can help them. No near relatives beyond the immediate ones are available.

So,we have seen as Christians , we have the responsibility of helping our needy relatives first, then others. If you are adult children, we have a responsibility to help our parents and grandparents. And we have been told clearly, the Christian who falls below this given standard of helping each other is actually worse than a non-Christian. He is not following the supreme example of love that Christ has shown us. It is a mark of those who love the Lord.

So, what are we saying? We we should trust in God and continue in supplication prayers, just like this widow is doing. Even when you are helpless, learn to depend on God. Those who should be legitimately helped by the church should be used to serving the church if nothing else. They should be in prayer for the church, maybe in other ministries. If the widow has gifts, as you are helping them, you should also give them some responsibility in the church. It is what I can see here.

Otherwise, these other ones are different. That  who are not involved in the church, they don”t want to help the church in any way, and they still want help and are living in pleasure, should not be priority.

They are indulging themselves in alcohol drinking and maybe in immorality. In the process, they are not an example that we should begiving our attention to when helping. I find it tough when she is described as dead, as she lives. Anybody who is just involved in pleasure is spiritually dead. She is an old woman but very involved in pleasure. The life lived for this pleasure, whether we are young or old, is not a good life. It is not honouring the Lord. It is a living death whether you are young or old.

Of course, some of these widows may be young. You know, you may discover that some of the people who come to church for assistance, they are needy of course, but they do not want to get involved in the work of the church. They are involved in alcohol and drugs.

They still want church help, but they do not want to be involved in the work of church at all. And it sounds like, if there are such people, you can help them once, but I don”t think Paul is encouraging you to take responsibility of people who do not want to take part in the church. You may have to leave them to suffer the consequences of their loose life. The responsibility of the congregation is widows, for after all, they are not that many. And it may not be directed to people who may not want to listen to God”s word or don”t even care to get involved in the church in any way. So may the Lord help us, number one to see that as Christians we must think about the needy.

Number two, to understand that as Christians, we should also look after our extended family.

Number three, to know as Christians, our immediate nuclear family is our responsibility. They should not be looking for help elsewhere when they have a healthy father; they have a healthy husband. He should take his responsibility as a provider.