Day 1

1 Corinthians 10:13

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

Our topic is very interesting, and I have to try to cover the material within the time available. We are actually talking about sex addiction, hypersexuality, compulsive sexual behaviour, and all that is related. Let me just say, as I have said before, the Bible is not against sex. Sex in itself is not a problem. God gave sex for men and women to enjoy. So, nothing I say here should make you have negative feelings about sex.

Sometimes when you are brought up to think sex is a sin, even married people cannot enjoy sex. Your husband touches you and your response is, “Why are you touching me? I do not want to sin.” Now if you are at that level, then we adults failed to train you properly that sex is nice, enjoyable, and God-ordained if done at the right time and place. And I think we need to come out very clear on that one.

Hebrews chapter thirteen, verse four says, “Marriage should be honoured by all and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” In other words, God is happy with sex in marriage'”the marriage bed. But if you have sex outside marriage, the word we normally use for it is sexual immorality or adultery. And rest assured, sex outside marriage is clearly condemned, and we need to have that clearly in the back of our minds.

We will try to define what sexual addiction is. We will also look at a few causes of sexual addiction. We will look at the impacts and effects of sexual addiction, and then finally we will spend a bit of time talking about how you break free from it.

Day 2

Mark 10

9 Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.9 Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.’

Let me first of all talk about sexual immorality in general. Adultery is having sex before the right time. When do you become an adult? You become an adult when you are ready to marry. But even if you are thirty-five and you are not married, do not start having sex. The correct answer is: adultery is sex between people outside of wedlock.

If you have not yet signed on the dotted line of the marriage certificate'”that “I am now committed to this girl and no other until death do us part”‘”you are committing adultery if you have sex with her, and we have seen this before. Even if you sleep with your own girlfriend, you are committing adultery. We saw that even if you sleep with her on the morning of the wedding, you are committing adultery.

I do not know why God has put it such that the wedding is so important that if you have sex in the morning of your wedding, you are going to hell, but if you wait until the wedding that afternoon, you go to heaven'”just because of what happened in between: the wedding. So, the wedding is not a small matter.

Current youth are starting to have less and less value for weddings, not understanding that it may be your determinant as to whether you are going to hell or heaven.

I have been to one of the campuses not long ago where my wife and I were there for the whole weekend, so we had a lot of time with the students. We realized they are redefining sexual immorality. To them, sexual immorality is sleeping with someone who does not love you. Is that what the Bible says? Answer my question: is that what the Bible says? No. The fact that he loves you does not change your destiny, for you are still booking a location in hell if you sleep with him, even if he loves you, because you see our definition of sexual immorality.

Day 3

Matthew 5

28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Like we saw earlier, the reasons why you drop the boyfriend immediately when he asks you for sex'”you do not negotiate'”are three. Number one: for the boy to come to the level where he is asking you for sex, it means he already sinned earlier. Why? According to Matthew chapter five, when you look at a woman and imagine you can sleep with her, it’s not that you can be tempted'”you have already committed sin. Have you read the verse?

But you know, so far you have not even approached her, but you are already going to hell simply because you imagined sleeping with her. So, by the time the boy is coming to ask you for sex, he is already sure that he is going to hell; he’s only looking for company to go with.

Now that you want to join him is seen when you start to negotiate: “Oh, let’s not do it today. We’ll wait until after exams.” You are negotiating with somebody on his way to hell looking for somebody to join him. If he was only tempted, that is different. But now he has already sinned. So, number one'”why you drop him without negotiation'”is because you already know he is immoral.

Number two: please understand that if he cannot control his sex urges now, he is telling you that even after marriage he will be immoral, especially if you are not available. Remember, he is saying, “I can’t wait'”let’s do it now. After all, we love each other.” He is telling you he has no sexual brakes. The fruit of the Holy Spirit is self-control, and he is saying the Holy Spirit left me a long time ago; I’m unable to control myself.

Now if you actually go ahead and sleep with him, you have already agreed with him that he has no brakes. He does not have the fruit of self-control. Then you get married, and once you get married and you as a wife go for a course in Japan, you come back to see that he has slept with some other women. “How could you do that?” you ask him. His reply: “But surely, even when you were in university, I told you I have no brakes. How could I have waited three months?” Yes, didn’t I tell you? If he cannot wait now, it will be difficult after the wedding, for practice makes perfect.

So, anybody who cannot hold back now is announcing to you he will be immoral even after the wedding because he has no ability to control himself. And for now, he hasn’t even practiced. It will be harder later.

Day 4

1 Corinthians 6

15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! 16 Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, ‘The two will become one flesh.'[b] 17 But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit.

That is why people who are immoral before the wedding will continue to be immoral even after the wedding.

The boy who wants sex is not a Christian, and Christians do not marry non-Christians. So, the issue is not love. If a donkey loved a cow, they still can’t marry because cows do not marry donkeys. Similarly, non-Christians and Christians can’t get married. It’s technically impossible. By the way, I was the Bible study coordinator in nineteen seventy-four in the CU, so it’s over fifty years ago since I was in charge of Bible study coordination. It helped me to study the Bible.

I still remember my roommate in 1975. He would like to marry a university girl, but he can’t marry a non-christian because non-Christians are too proud; they can’t make a marriage. But if he could marry a Christian girl, he could get a good marriage.

And I said, “How can you marry a Christian girl if you yourself are non-Christian?” He said, “I am going to join the CU and I’m going to befriend one.” I told him it is impossible for you to marry a Christian. If you do not get saved, you can’t marry a Christian. He says, “I will.” I said, “By the way, it is not difficult'”it’s impossible.” He said, “What do you mean?” The word of God is so clear that light and darkness do not have fellowship, that non-Christians and Christians cannot be in fellowship. It is so clear that the day a Christian girl says yes to a non-Christian, she is not a Christian; she is a former Christian. So, you will be thinking I’m marrying a Christian girl, but she had to say no to Christ'”backslide'”in order to say yes to you. You are marrying a former Christian. To say yes to a non-Christian proposal for marriage, you must begin by saying no to Christ. Christ’s demands are clear that you cannot marry a non-Christian, for you are his. If you say no to him now, you are then two non-Christians who are marrying: one used to be a Christian but is not one, one who has never been a Christian. And when non-Christians have sex, it is their way, for they are not controlled by the Bible’s requirements.

Day 5

2 Corinthians 6:14

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

So, you need to understand it is not just difficult for a Christian to marry a non-Christian but impossible, because you must say no to Christ for you to say yes to a non-Christian. That needs to be absolutely clear to any Christian youth.

So even as we discuss this issue of addiction, we need to know our limits. I would have wanted, if we had enough time, to read the story of Amnon in the Bible. It is in Second Samuel chapter thirteen. And Amnon was the son of David who fell in love with his sister. And it actually seemed like it became an addiction.

It is the wrong thing. He knew that he should not have been doing it, but he played a trick until he finally slept with his sister by force'”by raping her. The Bible tells us, “After he slept with her, he hated her more than he had loved her.” Which is what the experience is: that, my sister, when you sleep with a boy, he no longer has much respect for you. He asks himself, “If she could give in to me, who else has she given in to?”

When you say no to a boy, your value to him rises. You say no again, your value rises even higher. He then knows, “This is the type of girl I want to marry.” So, it is very important you understand that.

Day 6

Matthew 6:24

‘No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.

However, today we are not just talking about sexual immorality. We are talking about immorality of a kind where initially you wanted sex; now you must have sex. We call it addiction.

We have sex addiction, but we also have other addictions like gambling addiction. You start by saying, “Let me make some money,” on your phone. Then after some time, you have no money, then you borrow money in order to play the gambling game.

You put the number in again and again, and it has become an addiction. You can even steal to gamble. In fact, the other day I was invited by Kibabi University to talk about the addiction to gambling. It is a full topic we need to deal with. And some of you may not have sex addiction, but you have gambling addiction. So, whatever I am saying about sex addiction, you need to ask yourself: should not I be applying the same principles? There is also shopping addiction, etc.

There are people who are addicted to one or many addictions. Shopping addiction means they just buy and buy and buy, run out of money, borrow and continue to buy. Have you met them? It’s a very serious addiction, and when you have that addiction, you end up stealing when you run out of money. “But surely that is the CU chairman stealing?” No, he is addicted'”forgive him. It needs to be understood: addiction means you have reached a level where you can’t help yourself doing something that you know is wrong.

Day 7

1Corinthains 10

23 ‘I have the right to do anything,’ you say ‘” but not everything is beneficial. ‘I have the right to do anything”” but not everything is constructive. 24 No one should seek their own good, but the good of others

By the way, can you imagine you can also have exercise addiction? Where you have exercised, exercised until now you are sick because of exercise. And it can be a difficult issue. You can also have food addiction. You just continue taking food. Even after the stomach is full, you vomit and take more. Now basically you just can’t help yourself, and so you continue taking food. Another addiction is not wanting to take food'”even when you are hungry. The fear of getting fat has become an addiction. And you refuse food, you refuse food until death, and people have died because they are obsessed with not getting fat.

Now I do not know which one is better: the one of getting fat or the one of getting thin, but when they are addictions, both of them are equally bad. Sometimes it’s video game addiction. Have you heard of people who are addicted to video games? They have an exam tomorrow morning, but they are spending the whole evening into the night playing games. We could also go to social media addiction generally. There are even people reading this who are trying to check their phone. They can’t help it. Even when they are in a place of worship, they can’t help checking their phone. All those are addictions, and we could go on and on.